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Cheers and Jeers for Monday, November 14, 2022
Observe: In case you’re among the many hundreds of thousands of Democrats experiencing the consequences of Monday morning irrational exuberance, ask your physician if doing completely nothing about it’s best for you. As a result of it’s. Benefit from the f*ck out of it. Take pleasure in it, bathe in it, and bottle it. Don’t argue—simply do it. My orders.
—A public service message from God and the Advert Council
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By the Numbers:
Days ’til Thanksgiving: 10
Days ’til the Maine Harvest Pageant in Bangor: 5
Variety of Black lawmakers who can be within the Maine Legislature when the brand new class is sworn in subsequent month: 5
Delinquency price within the third quarter for mortgage loans on one-to-four-unit residential properties, the bottom stage for the reason that survey started in 1979, per the Mortgage Bankers Affiliation: 3.45%
Variety of years director Steven Spielberg and composer John Williams have labored collectively (their newest collaboration is The Fabelmans): 50
Age of Iowan Bessie Hendricks, the oldest dwelling American: 115
Variety of steps on the stoop of 123 Sesame Avenue: 6
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Pet Pic of the Day: FaceTiming with the folks…
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CHEERS to our high story of the hour, day, week, month, and yr. Over the summer season I watched as Nate Silver’s quantity crunchers at FiveThirtyEight gave Democrats a whopping 70 p.c likelihood of retaining management of the Senate. Then in the course of the fall I watched as the chances dropped to 67 p.c…then 60 p.c…then 50 p.c…all the best way all the way down to 40 p.c. To beat that form of unfavorable slide would require Democrats to amass anti-MAGA superpowers by no means earlier than seen within the historical past of humankind. Unattainable, I inform you!!!
I am going to let Joan McCarter reveal how that went:
The U.S. Senate will keep in Democratic management within the 118th session of Congress, starting Jan. 3, 2023. Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto’s win in Nevada offers Democrats the 50 votes they should keep in energy. That provides this experiment in democracy at the least just a few extra years. The work has to begin anew after they return subsequent week to complete out the present session.
It additionally implies that Sen. Raphael Warnock’s path again to the Senate in his run-off race on December 6 may be only a tiny bit smoother. When management of the Senate isn’t at situation, are Republicans in Georgia actually going to be all that enthused to present their vote to a really dangerous candidate?
In the present day, we’re all Hercules and Surprise Girl. Now we have used our powers for good, not evil. Everyone will get pie.
CHEERS to having an astronaut within the Senate for six extra years. The selection got here all the way down to an unhinged, nasty, reality-denying human rubbish dump who appears to be like like he stared into the Ark of the Covenant a little bit too lengthy…or a truth-telling American hero who’s office was once outer house and who craps larger than the whole MAGA cult. Powerful choice! However in the long run, the candidate who truly had pluses in his column gained:
Democratic Sen. Mark Kelly is the winner of the Arizona Senate race, NBC Information initiatives, defeating Blake Masters, a Republican backed by former President Donald Trump. […]
“Thanks to the folks of Arizona for re-electing me to america Senate,” Kelly stated in an announcement. “From day one, this marketing campaign has been in regards to the many Arizonans—Democrats, Independents, and Republicans—who consider in working collectively to deal with the numerous challenges we face.”
One of many extra schadenfreudalistic facets of this race: billionaire wackadoo Peter Thiel flushed hundreds of thousands of {dollars} down the terlet in a futile try get Goebbels-lite Blake Masters over the end line. Including insult to damage, just a few months in the past Thiel’s large underground apocalypse-survival bunker received nixed by the federal government of New Zealand. Sorry, dude, however you are getting Raptured with the remainder of us. Don’t overlook to pack your toothbrush.
P.S. Whereas we’re fixated on the west…
Trapped like rats. There can be no escape for MAGA this time. Bwoo ha ha.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to America’s first shusher. 289 years in the past this week, in 1732, the primary paid librarian, Louis Timothee, took his place behind a desk after getting employed for the job by none apart from Ben Franklin. Apart from that, all I do know is what Wikipedia tells me:
Timothee was born (in 1699) in Holland to French Huguenot dad and mom. Franklin organized for Timothee to function a part-time librarian for the Library Firm of Philadelphia, certainly one of Franklin‘s first philanthropic initiatives.
Franklin began the library July 1, 1731. There was no librarian till November 14, 1732, when Timothee was employed as the primary salaried librarian within the American colonies. He was paid three kilos sterling each trimester.
He labored each Wednesday from two to three o’clock and each Saturday from ten to 4.
Or because the Republican Freedom Caucus calls him: a workaholic.
CHEERS to Planet Progress. The United Nations local weather talks—aka COP 27—in Sharm El-Sheikh, Egypt are underway, and so they’re busy as a solar-powered bumblebee. Here is a fast abstract of what was achieved throughout its first week (of two):
» For the primary time, they agreed that no fossil gas firm or govt can be getting a Christmas card this yr, and will even be mildly tut-tutted in the course of the Airing of Grievances on Festivus.
» They agreed that the unique framework for the draft of the plan that will set up a benchmark for ratifying the timetable was able to be despatched to the sub-committee to be transformed right into a pledge for a schematic of the agenda that can set up a milestone for approving the occasion horizon.
» They agreed to take underneath advisement Elon Musk’s concept for slowing the consequences of rising sea ranges by filling absorbent SpaceX pods with ocean water and jettisoning them into the solar.
» All of them resolved that “This Thunberg child is gettin’ on our nerves.”
» They tabled a movement to stay a cork within the butt of the Nice Sphinx till they’ll decide if the principle reason for its outsized methane emissions can as an alternative be attributable to Nice Sphinx burps.
However most vital, they agreed on the form of the negotiating desk for subsequent yr’s convention: tetracontakaiheptagon. Wonderful selection.
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Ten years in the past in C&J: November 14, 2012
CHEERS to THE END. I can’t start to rely the ways in which Mitt Romney proved himself to be not only a dangerous candidate over the past 18 months, however a nasty individual. In no universe—no, not even on Kolob—is pathological mendacity a attribute of an individual of integrity and good ethical character. Romney actually tried to bamboozle his means into the White Home, and I am going to view his legacy as little greater than a loogey hocked from the mouth of a billionaire brat onto the American folks—he actually thought we have been idiots. So it offers me infinite pleasure to seal in amber the information that President Obama formally gained Florida, securing a 332-206 electoral landslide over Fusspot McFibber. I don’t know what, if something, Mormon elders do to their members after they break a Commandment so typically and with such apparent glee, but when they’re fixin’ to carry him down and snip his hair whereas he begs for mercy, I’ve this temporary piece of recommendation: use wire cutters. You may simply break your scissors.
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And only one extra…
CHEERS to the playthings of our lives. Misplaced in all of the hubbub over the elections and Ukraine‘s liberation of Kherson Metropolis is that this main breaking information. I am talking, after all, in regards to the 2022 inductees into the Nationwide Toy Corridor of Fame. The winners:
Prime: Since historic instances, the spinning high has been a childhood staple of cultures in Asia, Europe, the Americas, and Australia. The toy type has entertained adults, too. (Historic Greek pottery reveals ladies taking part in with tops greater than 2,000 years in the past!) Particular eight-sided tops known as teetotums provide the factor of likelihood in board video games and related pastimes. Fashionable youngsters play with this basic toy nonetheless, calculating the location, centrifugal pressure, and velocity wanted to execute the longest spin or to seize their rivals’ prized tops.
Lite-Brite: Created in 1966, Lite-Brite makes use of the identical idea as stained-glass home windows, permitting kids to create glowing pictures in opposition to a black background, both following manufactured designs or creating their very own image. In 1968 promotional supplies, Hasbro declared Lite-Brite a ‘magic gentle field,’ and that magic continues greater than 50 years later.
Masters of the Universe: The Grasp of the Universe line of motion figures, which incorporates the long-lasting He-Man and She-Ra, traces its recognition to maker Mattel’s use of comedian books, tv, and the large display. The cartoon sequence He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, which ran from 1983 to 1985,created a cohesive, fantasy world that allowed Mattel to introduce new characters and new toys to the road. Masters of the Universe characters had the power, weapons, and energy to defeat the villain—and provides youngsters confidence. He-Man, after-all, usually asserted ‘I’ve the facility!’”
I’d prefer to dedicate this yr’s toys to the Republican celebration’s efficiency within the midterms. They thought they have been Masters of the Universe, however it seems they have been only a bunch of dim bulbs spinning in circles.
Have a tolerable Monday. Flooring’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about immediately?
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In the present day’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
“I imply, what has Invoice in Portland Maine ever executed? No offense to Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool splashers, however he’s been a kiddie pool splasher his complete life.”
—Anderson Cooper
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