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Should you by some means missed Thursday’s huge debate between Govs. Gavin Newsom and Ron DeSantis, properly, do not fret. For one factor, Newsom didn’t debate DeSantis a lot as curb-stomp him time and again like an more and more shopworn sequence of Cabbage Patch dolls.
Secondly, DeSantis remains to be operating for president, so he’s not going wherever. Apart from nowhere, in fact. Until third place within the Iowa caucuses is now thought of some form of milk-and-honey-festooned promised land.
Sure, DeSantis-bot glitched out a number of instances over the course of the controversy. It was like watching a deer caught in a automobile’s headlights … then a automobile’s grille … then a automobile’s windshield … and eventually a automobile’s trunk, the place the Flailing Florida Man struck a dashing pose alongside the still-purpling corpse of Scott Walker. Take, for example, this change, beforehand highlighted by Every day Kos’ Walter Einenkel:
Wow. That was one thing, huh? How are the smiling classes going, Ron? Appears such as you’ve lastly mastered “constipated prairie hen.” Subsequent cease: “inflatable automobile wash dancer.”
In fact, we could not have DeSantis to kick round for much longer, so we higher kick him now. (Figuratively, in fact.) And this week he’s on the OG Sunday political present, “Meet the Press,” which guarantees to be a barrel of awkward, off-putting laughs.
So let’s see how that went, we could?
Off we go!
1.
Have we talked about how completely screwed Republicans are on abortion? Oh, sure, we’ve, haven’t we? Nicely, they’re, as a result of they don’t have something that approaches a constant or coherent message. Democrats do: We have to codify Roe and be sure that personal reproductive well being care selections are made by ladies in shut session with their medical doctors. Democrats can look voters sq. within the eye and inform them that easy fact.
In the meantime, Republican presidential candidates are regularly requested the place they stand on federal abortion bans, and it’s like asking Louie Gohmert how the CERN supercollider works. Or Legos. Or underpants, for that matter. In different phrases, they don’t have the slightest clue what to say.
DeSantis appeared with Kristen Welker on “Meet the Press” to debate a marketing campaign that’s shrinking in inverse proportion to his pupils each time he will get requested about these items.
WELKER: “You signed a six-week ban within the state of Florida, so voters need to know, folks of Iowa need to know, the place do you stand on this challenge? Would you signal a six-week federal ban if it got here to your desk? Should you had been president?”
DESANTIS: “However we signed a laws to face for a tradition of life that was achieved by the Florida Legislature. I imply, this was them bringing the need of the folks …”
WELKER: “So is {that a} sure? Is {that a} sure?”
DESANTIS: “Nicely, Congress will not be going to do any kind of abortion laws. They have not achieved abortion laws—the one factor that’s impacted abortion on the federal stage, I believe the very last thing is Obamacare in 2010. So we perceive that, and so a part of me selling a tradition of life is to do issues which can be achievable and that clearly would have consensus. No taxpayer funding for abortion. We’re going to remove the abortion tourism coverage of the Division of Protection, and we’re going to guard the rights of states to enact pro-life protections.”
“Come on, now! Congress received’t cross abortion laws! Nothing has been achieved on abortion since 2010. And nothing of word has modified since then. Nope. Not a single factor. It’s moot. Subsequent query! Wait, Dobbs? What’s Dobbs? Now you’re simply making child noises. Can we get again to my speaking factors, please? Lavish Broadway musicals have gone woke!”
Good Lord. Actually, he’d be higher off showing on these exhibits sporting an “Ask Me About My Boot Lifts” button.
BONUS!
DeSantis has a actually laborious time condemning Donald Trump’s use of the phrase “vermin” to refer to 1’s political enemies. Should be powerful attempting to repeatedly stroll that tightrope between full-blown Nazi rhetoric and the form of stuff Hitler simply randomly thought of in his bathe.
Geez, Ron, develop a pair. Of eyes, I imply. Can’t you see how hopelessly behind you’re? Newsom was proper. You’ll want to drop out, ASAP.
RELATED: Sunday 4-Play: Republicans are fully screwed on abortion, and Trump (hearts) fascism
2.
Grasp projectionist Donald Trump has recently been attempting to say that President Biden is definitely our nation’s largest menace to democracy—not the man who actually tried to finish America. And he’s giving extraordinarily low-energy speeches to make his level.
Former White Home Communications Director Alyssa Farah Griffin joined “State of the Union’s” professional panel to debate this frothy nonsense, telling host Dana Bash that she’s seen Trump is “slowing down.” Which is the worst euphemism for “turning right into a Nazi Chucky doll” anybody’s ever heard.
TRUMP (AT RALLY): “However Joe Biden will not be the defender of American democracy, Joe Biden is the destroyer of American democracy. … So if Joe Biden desires to make this race a query of which candidate will defend our democracy and defend our freedoms, I say to Crooked Joe—and he’s crooked, probably the most corrupt president we’ve ever had—we are going to win that battle and we’re going to win it very huge. Very huge.”
BASH: “Welcome again to ‘State of the Union.’ My panel joins me now. Alyssa, that is most likely one of many least shocking belongings you’ve seen Donald Trump do. Proper, I imply, if, if—I don’t need to name it ‘evil genius’ as a result of, I don’t—however it’s so traditional. To have one thing improper with him, a adverse, and he says, no, it’s the opposite man.”
FARAH GRIFFIN: “And simply tries to flip it on its head and also you heard the viewers eat it up. It’s form of outstanding—I used to be watching a number of the clips from Trump’s go to to Iowa, and I’m surprised, having spent a variety of time with him in 2020 and years earlier than, he’s slowing down. There may be a scarcity of sharpness in what he’s saying, and a scarcity of form of readability. There’s one other clip the place he mainly says he’s going to overturn Obamacare however then additionally says that he’d repair it. Simply full inconsistencies. And for Republicans, our strongest case in opposition to Joe Biden is, you recognize, the age and the decline that a few of us have seen. And if I’m being trustworthy, face to face, I’m undecided which is struggling extra.”
You’re undecided who’s struggling extra? Trump. Trump is struggling extra. Biden appears barely bent over when he walks and infrequently elides or butchers a phrase or two. He doesn’t regularly declare he ran in opposition to George W. Bush, brag about passing preschool-level dementia assessments, and confidently assert that windmills are murdering whales.
Then once more, Farah Griffin is a Republican. Who labored for Trump. Generally the deprogramming takes some time to totally kick in, apparently.
RELATED: Sunday 4-Play: Biden delivers outcomes, Christie swats at Trump, and Musk tanks Twitter
3.
The pretend Biden impeachment remains to be a sizzling subject over at Fox Information, and veteran journamalist Maria Bartiromo is throughout it. There’s no must rehash how empty and cynical this endeavor is. You may merely learn this reality verify or this Every day Kos liveblog of Republicans’ September impeachment listening to. Or you possibly can simply stare into Home Oversight Committee Chair Jim Comer’s eyes for 30 seconds and see for your self that there’s nothing behind them however insensate evil and pingpong balls.
However Republicans are decided to go forward with the charade—as long as the folks they’re accusing aren’t allowed to share their tales with the identical public Comer, et al., have been dishonestly working right into a lather for the previous two years.
BARTIROMO: “[We want to] perceive why you’ve gotten needed to take so lengthy to really get a vote to question, get this impeachment inquiry going. Do you are feeling that you’ve got the votes inside the Home proper now to get a proper impeachment inquiry?”
COMER: “I do, and I had a reporter ask, properly, what’s modified? You recognize, as a result of the press has been writing we didn’t have the votes without end. And I stated, properly, I let you know one factor that modified. We had been in Washington, D.C., for 10 weeks, and there have been about 15 or 20 moderates that they actually fear about what CNN says or what the Washington Submit writes, and so they had been getting of their heads, Maria. However an incredible factor occurred throughout Thanksgiving. The members went residence—lots of them for the primary time and circulated for the primary time in over 10 weeks—and so they met folks in Walmart and folks on Primary Road, and so they’re like, what on the earth have the Bidens achieved to obtain hundreds of thousands and hundreds of thousands of {dollars} from our enemies all over the world, and did they not pay taxes on it? So that they heard from their constituents—sure, we would like you to maneuver ahead, we need to know the reality. And we count on the Bidens to be held accountable for public corruption.”
Obtained that? These weak Home Republicans who signify Biden-leaning districts stopped studying The Washington Submit for 10 days and began listening to the constitutional students selecting out hydrogenated pie toppings at Walmart. Case closed. Joe Biden is nearly as good as gone. Now they’ll lastly undergo Kamala Harris’ purse to see what number of Candy ‘N Low packets she’s stolen from IHOP because the inauguration.
RELATED: Sunday 4-Play: RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel tries to look ‘reasonable’ on abortion, fails miserably
4.
Nationwide Safety Council Coordinator for Strategic Communications John Kirby appeared on “Meet the Press” with Kristen Welker to debate the Israel-Hamas conflict and a latest New York Instances report alleging that Israeli intelligence obtained the battle plan for Hamas’ October terrorist assault greater than a 12 months earlier than it occurred.
So why, Welker questioned, didn’t U.S. intelligence have any inkling of this? Isn’t Israel imagined to share intelligence with us?
I believe you recognize the seemingly reply—even when Welker doesn’t. We’ll see when you’ve bought your considering caps on. The massive, startling reveal will come … after the soar!
WELKER: “John, I’ve to ask you about this New York Instances reporting which discovered that Israeli officers obtained Hamas’ particular assault plan over a 12 months in the past. Was america conscious of this intelligence, and if not, why not?”
KIRBY: “The intelligence neighborhood has indicated that they didn’t have entry to this doc. There’s no indications right now that they’d any entry to this doc beforehand.”
WELKER: “Ought to they’ve, given how carefully U.S. and Israeli intelligence officers coordinate, or are imagined to coordinate?”
KIRBY: “Intelligence is a mosaic, and generally, you recognize, you’ll be able to style issues collectively and get a reasonably good image, different instances there’s items of the puzzle which can be lacking. As I stated, our personal intelligence neighborhood stated that they checked out this. They don’t have any indications right now that they’d any advance warning of this doc or any data of it.”
WELKER: “John, in a short time, was this a failure on the a part of Israeli intelligence and U.S. intelligence?”
KIRBY: “I believe there’s going to be a time and a spot for Israel to do this form of forensic work. I imply, Prime Minister Netanyahu has already spoken fairly candidly about this, calling it a failure on their half. They’ll check out this on the proper time. They want to do this. Proper now, although, the main target has bought to be on ensuring that they’ll remove this really genocidal menace to the Israeli folks.”
Gee, why wouldn’t Israel need to share intelligence with us? What might need occurred previously a number of years that might have given them pause? It’s an enormous fucking thriller, isn’t it?
This one is a Video Every day Double:
Oh, you want it spelled out? Okay, then.
International Coverage, Might 2017:
Simply days earlier than President Donald Trump’s arrival in Tel Aviv, Israeli intelligence officers had been shouting at their American counterparts in conferences, livid over information that the U.S. commander in chief could have compromised a significant supply of data on the Islamic State and presumably Iran, in response to a U.S. protection official in navy planning.
“To them, it’s horrifying,” the official, who attended the conferences, advised International Coverage. “Their first query was: ‘What’s going on? What is that this?’”
[…]
[B]ehind the general public show of concord, Israeli intelligence officers are indignant and alarmed over the U.S. president revealing delicate data in a Might 10 assembly within the White Home with Russian International Minister Sergei Lavrov and the Russian ambassador to america, Sergey Kislyak.
Nicely, possibly Welker doesn’t learn International Coverage. Or NBC Information. I’m fairly certain Folks journal coated it, too, alongside Sergei Lavrov’s favourite braised turnip recipes.
However wait! There’s extra!
That’s it for as we speak. Hope you’re all having fun with this joyful Battle on Christmas season. See you subsequent week!
Try Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, together with the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this hyperlink. Or, when you want a check drive, you’ll be able to obtain the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low worth of FREE.
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