![](https://i0.wp.com/cdn.theathletic.com/app/uploads/2024/06/18110829/0620_TylerSkaggs-scaled.jpg?ssl=1)
LOS ANGELES — With out even noticing, Debbie Skaggs, the mom of the late Angels pitcher Tyler Skaggs, slips into the current tense. For 3 brief sentences, her voice elevates, her face lights up.
“He doesn’t massive league anybody,” she mentioned. “He’s humorous too, he’s a humorous man. And he’s a complete music man.”
For a second, it’s virtually forgotten. However Debbie’s actuality isn’t gone for lengthy: Tyler’s demise from a fentanyl overdose, now 5 years in the past. The revelation of his drug abuse. The high-profile trial of a former Angels communications worker. The still-pending $100 million lawsuit in opposition to his former crew. The truth that she should talk about her son prior to now tense.
Skaggs was utilizing oxycodone, and repeatedly relied on then-Angels communications director Eric Kay, an addict himself, to provide him. Quickly after arriving in Texas on July 1, 2019 for a highway sequence, Skaggs swallowed a capsule from Kay that contained a deadly dose of fentanyl. He overdosed, choking on his personal vomit, and was found by lodge staff and crew officers the subsequent morning.
Kay was convicted of distribution of a managed substance leading to demise, and conspiracy to own with intent to distribute managed substances. He’s in federal jail, serving a 22-year sentence.
5 years later, a lot of the world has moved on. There are small reminders of Skaggs within the Angels’ orbit — a remembrance on the residence complicated subsequent to the stadium, a quick spotlight within the Calling All Angels pre-game montage. However, largely, individuals’s lives have resumed.
For individuals who beloved Skaggs probably the most, nonetheless — his mom; his father, Darrell Skaggs; his spouse, Carli Skaggs; and his finest pal, Andrew Heaney — transferring ahead has been a problem. A lot of their lives are nonetheless outlined by the grief that has been with them for the final 5 years.
Close to the doorway to Debbie’s Los Angeles house is a shrine to her late son. Images and work of him line the partitions. In one other room is a framed jersey with Skaggs’ quantity that Nationals starter Patrick Corbin wore as a tribute.
Debbie and Carli, who selected to be interviewed collectively in Debbie’s house, are shut. They’re snug ending one another’s ideas and asking each other for affirmation when discussing their recollections of Tyler. They nonetheless repeatedly get lunch and go for walks.
“I take into consideration Tyler on a regular basis,” Carli mentioned. “I take into consideration the household that we’d have. What number of children we’d have. Simply what our life can be like proper now. On a regular basis, I give it some thought.”
![](https://i0.wp.com/cdn.theathletic.com/app/uploads/2024/06/18121942/Skaggs-1-scaled.jpg?resize=2560%2C1280&ssl=1)
Carli Skaggs began courting Tyler in 2013. Simply weeks earlier than his demise, they had been discussing kids and their future. (Courtesy of the Skaggs household)
Heaney was Skaggs’ rotation mate and closest pal, regardless of polar reverse personalities.
Heaney is an introvert, not one to simply kind shut friendships; Skaggs was gregarious and outgoing, somebody everybody felt they knew. He picked his teammates’ walk-up songs, volunteered for charity occasions and arranged dress-up days.
“He made me come out of my shell. In conditions (that), had he not been there, I in all probability wouldn’t have,” Heaney mentioned. “He made me a greater particular person as a result of he allowed me to shine a little bit bit extra, when in any other case I wouldn’t have.”
Skaggs was the man that Heaney would vent to. “I can’t f—ing get anyone out proper now,” Heaney would say when he struggled. Generally Skaggs would make Heaney snicker. Generally he’d have recommendation. Generally he’d inform him to “suck it the f— up.” However Skaggs all the time delivered for his pal.
They’d talked about what it will be like to succeed in fatherhood on the identical time. They mentioned successful a World Collection collectively. They plotted to signal with a brand new crew collectively in free company sometime.
Heaney has since develop into a father to twin ladies, simply two days after the fourth anniversary of Skaggs’ passing. He signed with a brand new crew in free company, and, final yr, Heaney performed a big function within the first-ever Rangers World Collection championship. All of the issues he’d talked about with Skaggs, the occasions he’d deliberate to share together with his pal. As an alternative, he felt responsible: He acquired to have what Skaggs by no means will.
“I’m not nice at coping with feelings,” Heaney mentioned. “It’s simply arduous. For some time there, it was tough. I didn’t know what to say, I don’t know how one can cope with this.”
Heaney has a tough time accepting that Skaggs was abusing tablets. He says he by no means noticed that facet of him.
He was the prosecution’s first witness in Kay’s trial. 5 different MLB gamers testified about shopping for medication from Kay. Matt Harvey testified about offering Skaggs with medication. Different gamers testified about Skaggs’ actions the night of his demise.
Heaney’s goal as a witness was totally different. He was there to let the jury know who Tyler was as an individual, teammate and pal.
For Carli, this trial — delayed a number of occasions for greater than a yr — was an interminable wait. It was a obligatory step within the therapeutic course of for each her and Debbie. Heaney considered it in another way.
“It didn’t change something for me,” Heaney mentioned. “I perceive there’s a course of the place individuals have to be held accountable for no matter they might or might not have performed. I simply felt like that’s lower than me. I assume I’m neutral in that sense. I wasn’t there for any type of outcome.”
Heaney admits he didn’t actually care about taking part in baseball for some time following Skaggs’ demise. He had a tough time being current together with his teammates. The man that acquired Heaney out of his shell was not there.
“The void of being in the identical group on the identical crew,” Heaney mentioned, “and simply not having the man that was my locker neighbor, and my spring coaching catch accomplice and the man that I’d go watch his bullpens, and he’d watch mine, I’d speak with him — I didn’t have that.”
“When you will have that one particular person that you just really feel such as you could be a little extra susceptible with, or nearer to, after which they’re gone, you form of simply clam up.”
When Heaney signed with the Rangers and moved to the Dallas-Fort Value space, he did it totally realizing that it meant a return to the positioning of trauma. That frightened him. His house was near the Southlake Plaza the place the pair would eat, and never removed from the lodge the place Skaggs’ life ended.
For some time, Heaney did all the pieces he may to keep away from going there, and even seeing it. Finally, as time has handed, he’s loosened that self-imposed restriction.
“That’s not a great way to assume — that some location or silly f—ing lodge determines the place I’ve good or dangerous recollections of him,” Heaney mentioned. “My recollections are up right here. Not the place I’m bodily.
“… I don’t know if it is a bizarre approach to say it. But when that’s the place the place he handed, perhaps that’s the place the place I can get closest to him.”
![](https://i0.wp.com/cdn.theathletic.com/app/uploads/2024/06/18203925/GettyImages-1251629072-scaled.jpg?resize=2560%2C1707&ssl=1)
Andrew Heaney, now with the Rangers, struggled with guilt as he reached milestones he and Skaggs had mentioned collectively. (Bailey Orr / Texas Rangers through Getty Pictures)
Tyler held Carli in his arms, appeared her within the eye, and informed her that he needed to have a child. Simply weeks earlier than his demise, it felt like their lives had been simply starting.
The couple had just lately purchased a house in Southern California, and mentioned including a baby’s room with the architect.
At the moment, Carli lives alone in a Los Angeles residence. She rents out the house they bought collectively. Following Tyler’s demise, she moved in together with her dad and mom for 2 years. She doesn’t preserve many images or reminders of Tyler at her house — seeing his face in all places can be painful. She took off her wedding ceremony ring.
“It’s a reminder of what I not have,” Carli mentioned. “It’s not my actuality anymore. It’s actually arduous for me.”
The couple met in 2012, and began courting in 2013. Not lengthy earlier than, Tyler had approached his household and informed them he had a Percocet habit. They tried to assist him wean off the drug, however he give up chilly turkey.
Carli mentioned she was unaware of her husband’s drug abuse. That a part of his life didn’t appear to infiltrate the one they shared. She remembers an engaged husband, always texting to inform her that he beloved her. She mentioned that they had a “wholesome” obsession with one another.
Due to that, when he stopped responding to her textual content messages within the early morning hours of July 1, 2019, she was fearful. However the potential of a drug overdose didn’t enter her thoughts.
“I used to be as confused as anyone else was. I used to be shocked. I needed solutions. I needed to know what was occurring,” Carli mentioned. And has she gotten these solutions? “Some solutions, not all.”
Earlier than the beginning of each season, the Dodgers and Angels play three exhibition video games at their house ballparks. This spring, a pal left Carli seats to the matchup at Dodger Stadium. It was the primary time since 2019 that she’d been again at a ballpark to see the Angels play.
For years, baseball was a large a part of her life. She moved with Tyler every spring to Arizona. She went to the video games, and broke down his begins with him. However now, simply being again in that surroundings was anxiety-inducing. She’d prevented it for years.
“I feared all the emotions that I might really feel going to the sport,” Carli mentioned. “I didn’t need it to set me again. It felt good being there, as a result of the sphere is the place Ty beloved to be.
“I believed that he can be completely satisfied that I used to be there, and that made me completely satisfied. Nevertheless it additionally made me envision Tyler on the mound, and that made me miss him much more. I’m pleased with myself for conquering that concern.”
Nonetheless, for Carli, there stays no getting over Tyler. She nonetheless needs to be a mother, however has a tough time imagining that life with anybody else. “If that’s meant for me, it’ll occur,” mentioned. Her profession is centered round this expertise; she volunteers as an advocate for victims of crimes (she prefers to not publicly share the place, with a view to protect her privateness). However a day by day “vacancy,” as she describes it, persists.
“Every thing jogs my memory of him,” Carli mentioned. “I speak to him. Generally I speak out loud. Generally I speak to myself.”
![](https://i0.wp.com/cdn.theathletic.com/app/uploads/2024/06/18122043/Skaggs-2-scaled.jpg?resize=2560%2C1280&ssl=1)
Debbie Skaggs used to speak or textual content together with her son on daily basis. She nonetheless talks to him, even when he can’t reply. (Courtesy of the Skaggs household)
At the least as soon as a day, Debbie will sit down on the sofa nearest to the entrance door of her Los Angeles house. It appears to be like immediately towards the shrine she created for her son.
There are work of him from when he was younger, and considered one of her with Tyler. There’s a framed jersey with accompanying images. His flame-shaped urn rests on a desk together with his glove on high of it. The bubble gum that remained in his locker sits subsequent to it.
She comes there day by day to speak to Tyler. Largely, it’s to inform him that she misses him.
“I’ve a number of recollections of Tyler. I like taking a look at him. That is my little meditation space. I’m simply pleased with him, the person who he was,” Debbie mentioned. “‘You had been an excellent child, Tyler. And I’m so pleased with you.’”
Debbie typically receives messages from individuals who knew Tyler, or knew of him. Individuals who examine in to speak. Generally she is going to reply; generally, it’s too arduous.
Just lately, on the grocery retailer, she bumped into an previous acquaintance who requested how Tyler was doing. Their children had performed youth sports activities collectively, and the girl was utterly unaware that he’d been gone for years.
The publicity surrounding the case has been “form of a double-edged sword,” Debbie mentioned. It’s given the Skaggs household a voice. And it’s made experiences just like the one within the grocery retailer much less frequent. Nevertheless it’s additionally positioned their son within the middle of a serious nationwide information story, with all of the accompanying scrutiny.
“We’re fortunate that we do have this platform, and there are numerous households that don’t,” Debbie mentioned. “(However) it’s all the time arduous when anyone who doesn’t know Tyler says one thing, once they don’t know about the kind of person who Tyler was.”
Debbie’s ex-husband, Darrell Skaggs, was just lately hospitalized. He’s handled well being points for a very long time, however they’ve worsened since his son’s demise. Debbie and Carli sustain with him, textual content him, and attempt to give him some hope.
He by no means remarried, and lives together with his sister. As Debbie mentioned, “Ty was his life.”
“It’s positively a battle for him,” she mentioned. “He misses Tyler quite a bit.”
At Kay’s sentencing, a press release was learn on Darrell’s behalf detailing his melancholy and the affect this has had on his life. He was unable to speak for this text due to his hospitalization.
Each infrequently, Debbie will activate the baseball recreation, and he or she’ll see the Angels dugout. She used to attend for the digicam to pan to the dugout to get a fast take a look at Tyler watching the sport. Debbie beloved watching baseball. However actually, she beloved watching her son play it.
She hasn’t been again to any ballgame because the evening the Angels honored Tyler in 2019 — the evening that Heaney satisfied her to throw the ceremonial first pitch from the rubber. She delivered a strike, and the Angels, fittingly, went on to throw a mixed no-hitter. Her curiosity within the sport now principally revolves round following her son’s teammates and pals.
Debbie retired from educating two years in the past, however she returned this semester to fill in at Santa Monica Excessive Faculty. She has so many recollections of Tyler there, each as a pupil and the man who got here again to impart knowledge to the softball crew she coached.
Debbie and her son used to speak on the telephone, or textual content, each single day. Debbie nonetheless talks together with her son, even when he can not reply.
“(Individuals) ask, ‘How do you get by means of it as a mother?’” Debbie mentioned. “And I say, ‘Truthfully, I’m nonetheless not over it. Each day is a battle.’”
Debbie and Carli additionally proceed to cope with authorized battles and litigation. Debbie’s frustration now’s targeted on the Angels. She stays upset, to today, that nobody from the crew known as her till after his passing was made public.
It was then-GM Billy Eppler who known as Carli. When the telephone rang, Carli stopped driving in the course of the highway. After receiving the information, she entered her dad and mom’ house in a state of shock. She known as Debbie, pressured to ship the unimaginable information herself. Debbie crumpled to the ground.
Debbie believes that the franchise was derelict in its obligation. Following Kay’s conviction, the household’s lawyer launched a press release saying “The trial confirmed Eric Kay’s drug trafficking was recognized to quite a few individuals within the Angels group.”
Debbie, Carli and Tyler’s father, Darrell, filed a wrongful demise lawsuit in 2021, alleging that the Angels both knew, or ought to have recognized that Kay was offering medication to Skaggs.
The household’s lawyer, Rusty Hardin, informed The Athletic that the Angels have stalled the case. “We’re nonetheless arguing discovery issues, and the Angels are resisting it at each stance,” Hardin mentioned. “We’ve acquired little or no from them. The Angels are doing all the pieces they will to maintain us from getting the related data we’d like.” He mentioned {that a} settlement has not been mentioned by both facet.
Angels exterior counsel Todd Theodora responded in a written assertion, stating “Luckily, a retired choose is carefully supervising your complete pre-trial discovery course of and guaranteeing that it unfolds with integrity. Angels Baseball has honored all necessities and has faithfully adopted and can proceed to observe all of her directives.”
The civil trial in opposition to the Angels was initially scheduled for October 2023, however has been delayed till April 2025.
“The Angels ought to have recognized,” Debbie mentioned.
As a lot as Debbie and Carli stay indignant with the Angels, their views on Kay have shifted over time. At Kay’s sentencing, the prosecution requested for the choose to go above the 20-year obligatory minimal sentence. Within the household’s view, Kay killed Tyler. Now, nonetheless, their emotions about him appear to have softened.
“It didn’t make a distinction what number of years he acquired, it’s not going to carry Tyler again,” Debbie mentioned. “Nobody wins on this scenario.”
“His household additionally loses their beloved one,” Carli added. “His children don’t (have their father).”
![](https://i0.wp.com/cdn.theathletic.com/app/uploads/2024/06/18122145/Skaggs-3-scaled.jpg?resize=2560%2C1280&ssl=1)
Tyler Skaggs’ mom Debbie was a softball coach at Santa Monica Excessive, the place Tyler would finally play a number of sports activities. The Angels chosen him within the 2009 MLB draft. (Courtesy of the Skaggs household)
Everybody that cared about Skaggs has seen their lives change since he died.
There’s a framed photograph that hangs above Mike Trout’s locker. It showcases totally different photos of Tyler, and others of Trout sporting his pal’s No. 45 jersey. Tyler and Carli’s wedding ceremony invitation is wedged in between the body and the photograph.
Yearly, on the anniversary of his demise, Carli, Debbie and Tyler’s pals will go to the seashore in Santa Monica, close to the pier, the place they as soon as unfold his ashes. It’s a spot that he beloved. They stroll previous the mural positioned close to his highschool. It exhibits Skaggs smiling, flipping a baseball within the air with a blue hue emanating from his picture.
The household has established a basis in his title to offer monetary help, by means of grants and scholarships to worthy college students.
There are methods by which his reminiscence resides on, each by means of photos and tangible actions. Small issues that give some mild to an in any other case unimaginable tragedy.
“For each person who I watched him do charity occasions and make them smile,” Heaney mentioned. “For each person who I noticed him signal autographs for. For each teammate that I noticed him make snicker. For each teammate that I noticed him make dance. For each teammate that I noticed him make in scream in pleasure for what he did on the mound or snicker for what he did within the clubhouse, I would like them to do not forget that.”
Grief takes many kinds, and evolves over time. For Carli, it hurts to take a look at images. For Debbie, it hurts to not. Heaney can go a number of days with out serious about Skaggs. Then it should all wash over him in periodic desires that finish jarringly when he awakens to actuality.
5 years is a very long time. However grief doesn’t have an finish date.
“I need to really feel peace and happiness,” Carli mentioned, with a small chuckle to acknowledge how simple that’s to need, and the way arduous it’s to realize.
“I need to carry his legacy,” Debbie mentioned. “I would like individuals to recollect how he lived, not how he died.”
(Prime picture: Eamonn Dalton / The Athletic; Photograph: Jeff Chevrier / Icon Sportswire through Getty Pictures)