Ian Lara on Comedy Supporting Him By means of His Mother’s Loss

Ian Lara is a Dominican American slapstick comedian from Queens, NY, who discovered web success after his look on “Comedy Central Stand-Up That includes,” which has garnered over 10 million views. Lara was a daily on “This Week on the Comedy Cellar” on Comedy Central and was featured in “Convey the Humorous” on NBC. He made his late-night tv debut on “The Tonight Present Starring Jimmy Fallon” in 2019, and in 2020, Lara carried out his first 30-minute particular for HBO Latino’s “Entre Nos: LA Meets NY.” In 2022, Lara’s half-hour particular on Comedy Central, “Rising Disgrace,” aired in February, and his HBO particular, “Ian Lara: Romantic Comedy,” was launched in November on HBO Max.

For Psychological Well being Consciousness Month, we requested Latine comedians and creators we admire how comedy has supported them in overcoming trauma and confronting life’s most vital challenges. Learn the items right here.

“El que anda corriendo llega cansado.”

That is a well-known Dominican saying my mom at all times used to say, which interprets to, “He who runs arrives drained.” These six easy phrases have guided my life and profession as a slapstick comedian in some ways. This phrase alone taught me the significance of self-discipline, dedication, and doing issues proper — nevertheless lengthy and arduous the street is.

It is not misplaced on me how a lot of an affect my mother had on my profession. For starters, she was most likely one of many funniest people I knew. I had a comparatively glad and wholesome upbringing. I grew up in South Ozone Park, Queens, because the youngest of 5, and I do not recall a day that wasn’t stuffed with jokes and laughter. From my dad and mom to my older siblings, somebody at all times stated one thing witty that had us all rolling. However typically, it was my mother that provoked the large stomach laughs. In some ways, my mother was the one who helped me recognize the significance of comedic reduction and the way it might help us deal with among the grim realities of life.

I did not understand it then, however rising up in a humorous Dominican household ready me for the life forward of me. While you’re rising up, you simply assume that is the norm for everybody — till you exit into the world and see that it is totally different for various individuals. However in my household, humor was all the pieces. Everybody was humorous. My uncles have been humorous. My aunts have been humorous, and my mother was at all times very humorous.

In actual fact, it wasn’t till I began pursuing a profession in comedy that I spotted there was this narrative inside mainstream American comedy that girls comics “weren’t humorous.” I by no means heard something like that rising up. I did not even know that was a factor as a result of in my tradition and in my household, everybody was humorous — particularly the ladies.

Being the youngest, I did not even notice I used to be humorous till I used to be in junior highschool, and my pals and friends would level it out to me. As I bought older, I turned a fan of stand-up and realized possibly it was a factor I needed to do. At first, I assumed I might simply do that as a passion and pursue a profession as a lawyer. However one factor led to a different, and earlier than I knew it, I used to be reserving spots at comedy golf equipment all through the week. There was one thing about offering comedic reduction for people no matter what they is likely to be going by way of of their day by day lives that actually appealed to me. As cliché as it could sound, laughter actually is the perfect medication, and what I would quickly be taught is that it is not simply medication for these receiving it but in addition for the person — in my case, because the comic — making the jokes.

Every little thing I grew up studying from my mother, from the significance of not taking shortcuts in life to the stability levity can convey, all ready me for one of many hardest and darkest moments I might expertise — dropping her to most cancers. My mother’s battle with most cancers felt in some ways like an emotional rollercoaster of kinds. I first discovered of her breast most cancers analysis in Might 2021, actually the day after Mom’s Day.

I keep in mind when she referred to as me two weeks prior to inform me she had gone to the physician, they usually ran some exams. She did a mammogram, and the physician noticed one thing in her breasts, so he despatched it out to the lab to see if it was most cancers. On Mom’s Day, my mother was in Pennsylvania with my sister, and I drove on the market to spend the day along with her. The next day, she referred to as to inform me that the physician stated the breast tissue got here again cancerous. However initially, I wasn’t fearful. My mother used to get mammograms fairly continuously. In actual fact, the one 12 months she missed was 2020, after we have been all on lockdown due to COVID. So, I used to be fairly certain that the most cancers was probably within the early levels and nonetheless treatable.

Anytime you hear a few most cancers analysis, it is by no means an excellent factor, however I did my analysis, and he or she was nonetheless solely in stage one. Plus, I had an aunt who had beforehand been recognized with breast most cancers, they usually caught it and handled it throughout stage three. So, I stayed hopeful.

Issues took a flip for the more severe after we discovered in July that my mother additionally had stage 4 colon most cancers that was spreading to her liver. While you be taught that your mother is now battling a stage 4 most cancers analysis that may end up in loss of life, it may be overwhelming, to say the least. However I am a really even-keeled and sensible individual. I am not fast to panic, even below arduous circumstances. I rapidly regarded for options by diving into analysis. I learn, watched movies, and requested docs questions. I quickly discovered that even with stage 4 colon most cancers, there’s a window the place it may be one of many few cancers at that stage that may nonetheless be curable. As soon as once more, I remained hopeful.

At this level, I had already been working as an expert slapstick comedian for about 10 years and had been supplied to movie a Comedy Central half-hour particular in July 2021 whereas my mother was battling most cancers. I used to be additionally making ready to movie my HBO comedy particular, “Romantic Comedy,” which was initially scheduled to be filmed in November 2021 however bought pushed again to July 2022, finally releasing on HBO in November 2022. My schedule through the daytime was simply consumed with caring for my mother on the hospital, whose well being was deteriorating week by week. It was simply getting worse and worse, and the potential of dropping her to this illness was changing into extra of a actuality for me.

My mother and I had a really playful relationship the place we at all times joked collectively. She was one of many first people in my life to make me chuckle, so I discovered a number of pleasure in making her chuckle, however because the most cancers began to take over, she slowly began to lose her essence and, with it, her humorousness. I held tight to the teachings she taught me through the years and allowed my stand-up and my capacity to make others chuckle function my medication all through these darkish occasions.

I am very lucky that what I do for a dwelling supplies me with a lot happiness and satisfaction. Typically I will communicate with pals or individuals I meet for the primary time, they usually’ll ask me what I do for enjoyable, and I am like, my profession is my enjoyable. I do not go to the nightclubs. I do not exit consuming. I do not actually exit on dates. I simply actually take pleasure in writing jokes and performing them for individuals. It offers me an excessive excessive that may most likely solely be in comparison with a drug excessive, with so many endorphins launched.

Watching somebody you like a lot get sick and finally go away is actually the toughest factor I’ve ever needed to expertise in my life. The one factor that bought me going and helped me rise up from mattress each morning throughout these darkish days was my comedy. I relied on my stand-up at nighttime and making ready for these specials to convey me again up from these excessive lows. Even on the hospital, whereas my mother was sleeping, I might work on writing jokes and materials.

It is inconceivable to chuckle and make others chuckle and nonetheless be unhappy. You simply cannot really feel each of these issues concurrently — they do not go collectively. I imagine that you could be in a pang of deep unhappiness or despair, and at the very least these few seconds or minutes that you simply’re laughing, you are not unhappy for that point. I’ve at all times held comedy because the most secure drug you’ll be able to take. Nobody is ever going to let you know that you simply’re laughing an excessive amount of.

Earlier than my mother bought sick, my life appeared comparatively straightforward. Rising up, I had an excellent childhood and an excellent household dynamic. A lot so, I used to be reserved about the concept possibly my life would at all times be nice. Actuality got here knocking arduous on my door when my mother bought sick. It helped me notice that nobody is proof against the trials and tribulations that include life. Hardships are unavoidable. Comedy bought me by way of that and carried me after her passing in October 2021. Even at her funeral, I skilled comedic reduction. There have been loads of tears but in addition a number of laughter. Humor simply has a means of creeping in. You’ll be able to’t hold it out. You’ll be able to strive as arduous as you’ll be able to — however typically, combating off the laughs is inconceivable.

Everybody has their shit that is coming. That is simply a part of being human. Nothing is as unhealthy as you assume it’s — time heals all the pieces. And nothing is pretty much as good as you assume, both. Even now, having an HBO particular, consistently on the street doing reveals, and at present engaged on my new hour present, I nonetheless have my down days the place I do not really feel significantly pleased with the place I am at as a slapstick comedian. Possibly it is simply a part of what comes with being an artist.

However the second I hit the stage and listen to the viewers’s laughter, I am robotically rejuvenated. Comedy retains me grounded and pushes me ahead on this life, whatever the curve balls thrown my means. I do not know the way I would be doing if I did not have this comedic outlet.

— As informed to Johanna Ferreira

Johanna Ferreira is the content material director for POPSUGAR Juntos. With greater than 10 years of expertise, Johanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central a part of Latine tradition. Beforehand, she spent shut to a few years because the deputy editor at HipLatina, and he or she has freelanced for quite a few shops together with Refinery29, O Journal, Attract, InStyle, and Properly+Good. She has additionally moderated and spoken on quite a few panels on Latine id.