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I simply realized I’m the unwitting sufferer of probably the most fiendish lengthy cons within the historical past of grifting. Right here’s my story.
A number of weeks in the past, Jessica Sutherland, my great editor right here at Every day Kos, instructed me one of many muckety-mucks within the group had steered I write a enjoyable and breezy weekly assessment of the Sunday morning political reveals. What?! Hey, that sounds nice. I love that concept, my great editor! What an honor! I’m really humbled.
And so I put collectively a proper proposal, the scheme plotters at Every day Kos accepted it with a scarcely audible cackle, and Sunday 4-Play debuted on July 30, simply in time for a recent wave of Donald Trump indictments.
For sure, I don’t have a crystal ball and didn’t know what was coming, however as a result of I so eagerly accepted this plum project, I’m now basically compelled to look at this unholy hippo fuck of a Trump interview on “Meet the Press” as we speak as an alternative of languidly pouring molten pig iron into my freshly voided eye sockets with a Hey Kitty glitter spoon like I’d initially deliberate on doing.
Thanks, guys! This column has been the chance of a lifetime. Now should you’ll excuse me, I must don my rapidly jerry-rigged inside-the-shell Ronco Egg Scrambler helmet and beer-bong a pony keg filled with Hibernol.
Delete my fucking reminiscence, Kos!
Sarcastically, right here was the second paragraph of my very first Sunday 4-Play column, during which I betrayed a naïveté and callowness of youth usually related to 5-year-old youngsters who’re wheedled into consuming earthworm pasta on their first day of kindergarten:
However whereas [Chuck] Todd is being changed in September by the way more palatable Kristen Welker, this column will soldier on indefinitely, assuming it doesn’t get pulled instantly after its first installment, like no matter this factor is.
And right here I used to be simply final week, Pollyanna that I’m, welcoming the brand new regime with open arms:
The supremely succesful Kristen Welker will change Todd, and he graciously handed the baton to her on Sunday.
Good luck, Kristen. You’ve obtained some huge, squishy bathe sandals to fill. One thing tells me you’re greater than as much as the problem.
RELATED: Sunday 4-Play: It is Chuck Todd’s final day! And we’re ridin’ with Biden
After all, y’all know what occurred subsequent. After taking up the reins of the longest-running present in tv historical past, Welker introduced that her debut episode would characteristic an interview with … that man. Him. The semi-ambulant tub of walrus butter who has by no means—not for one second prior to now 77 years—had something attention-grabbing, coherent, or remotely truthful to say.
At first I assumed, properly, perhaps she’ll completely savage him. However even then her choice can be irresponsible, as a result of it’s actually unattainable to responsibly interview Trump. You’d must fact-check him in actual time, and should you did that, there’d be 10 occasions extra fact-check than interview. Didn’t we study that earlier this 12 months from CNN’s ill-advised Trump city corridor?
My hopes for a radical dressing-down shortly light, nonetheless, when the teaser clips began trickling in. For example, there was this preview clip from NBCNews.com, which reveals Trump bending Welker’s ear throughout a leisurely summer time stroll as Welker demurely smiles and customarily behaves as if she’s not standing subsequent to a feral legal who violently tried to finish American democracy. Yup, I just about knew this interview would suck from the drop once I didn’t see her wheeling him throughout the golf course on a dolly as Walt Nauta fed him Reese’s Items by means of the respiratory gap in his ranch sauce-festooned Hannibal Lecter masks.
Then she requested him a query concerning the ringing endorsement he lately obtained from Vladimir Putin and—shock, shock—he lied by means of his tooth Kari Lake-esque filter of billowing brown meat sweats. For example, Welker let him get away with saying no person was harder on Russia than he was. It’s a lie Trump repeats frequently, despite the fact that Putin moved mountains to attempt to get him reelected and Trump deliberate to drag us out of NATO in his second time period—which might have been the most important present Putin ever acquired. And Welker simply sat there nodding her head.
Sigh.
I get it. Trump is operating for president. He’s additionally an (alleged!) legal who’s been indicted on 91 felony counts. Not that interviewing criminals is essentially a journalistic no-no, however let’s face it, Charles Manson was much more attention-grabbing—and certain had no severe plans for invading Mexico.
So, yeah, I just about must cowl this, however I’m not joyful about it. For these media main lights who’re nonetheless questioning how one can successfully interview Trump, the right reply is … don’t. It’s not value it. In spite of everything, what can you actually study that we don’t already know? Do you assume he has a recent perspective on Kristen Stewart’s love life that he hasn’t but shared? As a result of he certain as shit doesn’t have something helpful to say about home or international coverage.
Critically, why can we nonetheless must faux that Donald Trump is an actual boy? Get a grip, media.
Okay, on to the barmy bullshit …
1.
So, yeah, confirmed rapist and traitor to democracy Donald Trump was on “Meet the Press” on Sunday. Let’s see how that went, we could? One effing clip after which we’ll transfer on.
And it’s a doozy. Right here Trump seems to acknowledge he misplaced the election earlier than saying he gained the election. Who is aware of? Perhaps he has early-onset mind demise. As it’s, roughly 98% of his mind is dedicated to digesting trans fat and screaming racial slurs on the brown folks on “Sesame Avenue.” It wouldn’t take a lot to nudge it into oblivion.
WELKER: “Once you say you wanted one-tenth of a degree, you wanted one-tenth of a degree to win?”
TRUMP: “I wanted a really small—I feel anyone mentioned 22,000 votes.”
WELKER: “To win?”
TRUMP: “Yeah. If you happen to divide it among the many states, it was 22,000 votes, one thing to that impact …”
WELKER: “To win the election?”
TRUMP: “Yeah. If I might’ve had one other 22,000 votes over the entire—however, look. They rigged the election. If you happen to have a look at Pennsylvania …”
WELKER: “However Mr. President, you’re saying you wanted extra votes to win the election, are you acknowledging you didn’t win?”
TRUMP: “Excuse me. If you happen to have a look at all the statistics, all the votes, they are saying 22,000 votes. Over hundreds of thousands and hundreds of thousands of votes, 22,000 votes. So after they do Twitter Information, or after they have 51 intelligence brokers come out and lie that the laptop computer from hell was Russia disinformation, and now they discover out it’s not, however they knew that on the time. They cheated on the election in that approach, too.”
WELKER: “I simply need to be clear, although. Are you saying you wanted these votes so as to win? Are you acknowledging you didn’t win?”
TRUMP: “I’m not acknowledging. No. I say I gained the election.”
Ooh, Welker actually thought she had him trapped. However no. It’s seemingly Trump’s left mind lobe doesn’t know what his proper lobe is doing. Like, ever. Additionally, the so-called “laptop computer from hell” seemingly was Russian disinfo.
Think about this December piece from Lindsay Beyerstein at The Editorial Board:
A largely real trove of stolen information can also be the proper place to cover solid or stolen parts, which take pleasure in unearned credibility as a result of they’re packaged with actual stuff. That’s why the victims of hack and leaks are suggested by no means to verify the authenticity of something.
The attackers are relying on the general public to attract the faulty conclusion that, as a result of some issues are real, the entire package deal is actual, and—most significantly—that it got here from the place the quilt story says it got here from, be that an imaginary collective of good-hearted “hacktivists” or a pc restore store in Delaware. Wherever however the GRU.
The GRU is infamous for hacking and leaking.
In different phrases, simply because parts of Hunter’s laptop computer have been actual doesn’t imply all of them have been.
However by no means thoughts that. Is Trump actually attempting to say an election win isn’t reputable if one of many candidates or his surrogates lied previous to that election? As a result of that’s a rare declare. The courts may need an actual pickle of a time coping with that one.
However hey, glad to see that the primary president ever to know the distinction between a lion and camel continues to be on the prime of his sport.
In contrast to, say, on Friday evening:
The remainder of the interview was related. He lied with each exhale; she didn’t push again almost forcefully sufficient. He instructed “sir” tales. He talked over her whereas claiming she was speaking over him. He claimed Democrats need to abort infants after they’re born. (She ought to have challenged him exhausting on that. She didn’t.) After all, later, after saying Democrats need to abort born infants, he mentioned they don’t need abortions within the seventh month and don’t need to be radical. He additionally confirmed he’d give Ukraine to murderous struggle legal Vladimir Putin.
She stored calling him “Mr. President” as an alternative of utilizing the way more applicable “traitor says what?” Midway by means of she could have changed him with a glazed ham. Nonetheless doing analysis on that one. I promise to launch my findings in two weeks. You’ll know as quickly as I do.
RELATED: Sunday 4-Play: Kos was on ‘Meet the Press’! Additionally, debate fallout and mug shot mania
By the best way, NBC Information did a perfunctory fact-check of the interview. On-line. The place merely everybody will see it.
Shifting on! Whew!
2.
Let’s see if we will ratchet that rage all the way down to 11, we could? Right here’s a pleasant palate cleanser. Nancy the Nice joined Jonathan Capehart on MSNBC’s “The Saturday/Sunday Present” and made clear that Democrats stand behind the placing autoworkers—whereas Trump’s plan to assist them is more likely to minimize their bosses’ taxes much more. It’s time for these proles, plebs, and peons to actually really feel that heat trickle down their necks, proper?
However Rep. Pelosi sees it in another way.
PELOSI: “Let me simply say that as we’re right here we’ve staff on strike in a variety of industries in our nation, however proper now you mentioned you’re going to have a present on …”
CAPEHART: “The UAW president …”
PELOSI: “UAW president. That is actually one thing so essential to all of us within the nation. These staff, simply consider this. The CEOs of those firms make most likely, in a single month, what these staff make in a lifetime. That’s simply unjust. Years in the past it was 20 occasions, now it’s 10 occasions that—over 200 occasions as a lot for the CEO as it’s for the employee. These earnings that they are saying they’re rewarding wouldn’t occur with out the employees. So allow us to pray that they’ll make some progress on this respectful of the employees. [Sen.] Sherrod Brown says it’s over 300 occasions as a lot. However no matter it’s, one month pay for the CEO, a lifetime pay to the employees. It’s simply not honest.”
Pelosi was riffing a bit, however her numbers are within the ballpark. And any approach you slice it, the hole between employee and CEO pay has grown uncontrolled since Ronald Reagan first put billionaires on the endangered species listing.
Fortune, Aug. 4, 2023:
The typical CEO of an S&P 500–listed firm earned $16.7 million from their position in 2022, the AFL-CIO mentioned—the second highest quantity ever recorded within the group’s annual Govt Paywatch report.
That’s 272 occasions the common wage of just below $62,000 for somebody employed by an S&P 500 agency, in keeping with the report.
Assuming an common profession of round 45 years earlier than retirement, which means an atypical worker must work six lifetimes to earn the identical as their CEO did final 12 months.
So there you go. Pelosi could have been a bit off on her comparability of month-to-month vs. lifetime wages, however the precise numbers are nonetheless eye-popping. And it’s about time staff began clawing again among the wealth that’s persistently been funneled upward for the previous 4 many years.
3.
For sure, Casper the Pleasant Milquetoast (aka Mike Pence) had a considerably totally different tackle the UAW strike. He insists he stands with the working women and men of this nation, and you may inform he’s honest as a result of he’s standing in entrance of two barns and isn’t carrying a tie.
The previous vice chairman and one-time Trump colon polyp appeared on CNN’s “State of the Union” with Jake Tapper. When requested concerning the autoworkers’ strike, he launched into his ready speaking factors about Biden’s financial system.
TAPPER: “On this problem of common equity, in 1965, throughout this period of the good middle-class growth in the US, CEOs made about 20 occasions what their typical staff made, however as I famous to you, the CEO of GM makes 362 occasions what her typical staff make. I simply need to be certain I get a solution from you. Is that okay? Do you assume that’s honest?”
PENCE: “Effectively, I feel that must be left to the shareholders of that firm. I’m anyone that believes in free enterprise. I feel these are choices that may be made by shareholders and creating strain, and I’ll totally help how these publicly traded firms function. I’m not fascinated by authorities mandates or authorities bullying relating to these sorts of points. And I don’t assume it is concerning the ordinary fault traces of the distinction in salaries between white collar and blue collar. I feel it’s that on a regular basis People on the market working exhausting live within the midst of the failed insurance policies of Bidenomics.”
TAPPER: “Inflation’s been horrible, no query, however their wages have not gone up for the reason that auto bailout in 2008. In the meantime, the CEOs, their wages have gone up 40% within the final 5 years. That’s what the union staff say as to why they’re placing. I suppose, only a query right here. Do you aspect with the CEOs or do you aspect with the union right here?”
PENCE: “I aspect with American staff, I aspect with all American households, I aspect with the folks of this nation, Jake, which are dwelling beneath the failed insurance policies of the Biden administration.”
In different phrases, Pence needs a laissez-faire financial system that punishes American staff—the actual wealth creators—decade after decade whereas persevering with to create alternatives for hardworking CEOs and majority shareholders who, beneath Biden’s financial system, wrestle day by day to find personal islands on the market. However hey, get a load of these two barns. And that open collar. Mom is so turned on proper now she needs to hitch her husband in a three-way—which, for the Pences, merely means consuming lunch at Olive Backyard with a lady they simply met within the foyer.
RELATED: Sunday 4-Play: Precise Black folks react to Trump’s ‘gangsta’ avenue cred, and Tim Kaine returns
4.
Oh, yeah, Republicans need to impeach President Biden for—hmm, let’s see right here—no cause in any respect!
GOP Rep. Michael McCaul appeared on Maria Bartiromo’s “Sunday Morning Futures,” the place he mentioned impeaching the president whereas acknowledging there’s precisely zero cause to take action.
MCCAUL: “Effectively initially, I’ve been tasked by the speaker to help the Oversight and Authorities Reform. With respect to international coverage choices the president made—or vice chairman, at the moment—with respect to cash coming in to attempt to tie the 2. We don’t have the proof now, however we could discover it later.”
Okay, have enjoyable with that, Mike. Appears like a case for Columbo. Or Scooby-Doo. Or perhaps Son of Sam. His neighbor’s canine has some actually tantalizing new particulars about Hunter Biden’s work with Burisma.
In the event that they preserve digging, perhaps they’ll discover out Corn Pop wasn’t such a nasty dude in spite of everything. And may we actually belief a person who brutally defames Corn Pop? I say no.
However wait! There’s extra!
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